Thursday, October 2, 2008

He's Baaaaaack!

I'd feel bad for not blogging in the last 18 months if I actually had anybody who read this blog. As I do not, and this is almost entirely for my own enjoyment, I feel no shame.

The last year and a half has been one of changes, almost all drastic.

I will recap:

February 2007, I was in the process of looking for a new job. Something with better pay, and with a company that had room to grow. I found what I was looking for, and I applied, hoping for the best. After a lengthy application and approval process, I was hired by my new company in a Project Manager position, and was assigned to work on the technical implementation of the product websites for a major international company.

With great power comes great responsibility. Learning the ropes of the new job was absorbing all of my time during the day, and so no time for blogging!

So, I was starting to bring in some real pay. I had been having serious problems with my wife's depression over the holidays in 2006, but she began taking medication in late December, and by March seemed to be more emotionally stable. I was hoping at the time that this uplift in her mood would lead to an increased interest in the romantic aspects of our relationship. However, that was not meant to be...

Our marriage had been suffering a slow and painful death for about 2 years. I tried the best I could, but only seemed to receive the cold shoulder in return.

In late May, I began a relationship with another person. Online chat only at first, but this led to a first meeting on Saturday, June 9th. This was the day that everything changed.

By that evening, my wife knew that I had met someone else, and had thrown me out of the house.

It seems that my new relationship was with another man.

So, I began a new chapter of my life, coming to terms with the fact that I was gay and trying to live honestly for the first time.

I began telling friends, one-by-one. One of my very best friends housed me for the next 7 weeks until I could get on my feet and find an apartment. All of my friends expressed surprise, but very few expressed actual shock. I hadn't realized that it had been that obvious, but there you go.

Through it all was Jon. He could have run and left as soon as all hell broke loose that fateful day in June, but he was there for me. Letting me know that he loved me and wasn't going to leave me. Although we were separated during the week by a distance of 150 miles, each weekend found us back together again.

I got an apartment, and Jon began spending more time in Cincinnati, staying for 1 or 2 weeks at a time, splitting his time between Cincinnati and his own home.

I began telling my family what was going on, starting with my brothers and sisters. The funny thing is that each one was not so surprised, but they worried about how someone else in the family was going to take it. By the time I got around to telling my parents, they had already figured it out for themselves, but my mother began to fret about how my siblings were going to take the news. I calmed her fears by letting her know that the rest already knew and were just fine. Everyone just wanted me to be happy, since happiness seemed to be what was missing from my marriage.

In October, Jon and I took our first weekend-getaway trip together. We spent two days in West Virginia, touring the art glass factories and enjoying the fall weather. It went very well.

In December, we took a much longer vacation together; 8 days in Key West. It was, without a doubt, the single greatest week of my life. On Monday, December 10th, Jon and I had a beachfront commitment ceremony, performed by a Key West city official. While not legally binding, it has been the cornerstone of our relationship, binding us together in a spiritual and emotional way that goes beyond what the law has to say about it. Key West was our honeymoon, and no two people on earth could be happier.

After the trip, Jon moved to Cincinnati permanently. We moved him into the apartment at first, and then started looking for a house a couple months after that. The Real Estate market was a buyer's market in February, and we had found our dream house within a few short weeks. Closing was the end of March, and by April 1st, we were completely moved into our new home.

Across the river to Florence, Kentucky. 4 bedrooms, 3 1/2 bathrooms, an office, and a finished basement which walks out to a half-acre fenced backyard with an in-ground pool. Can we really afford it? Maybe not, but we can make sacrifices in other ways. This is our happy home, and we're not leaving.

Spring, Summer and now fall...

I spend more time visiting my sister in Hamilton, OH than I used to. She and her husband like Jon much better than my ex-wife, as Jon is wonderful in every way, and my ex used to be quite nasty and resentful to my family. My other family members have come to visit us in Florence this summer as well, which is something that never happened when I was married before. Jon and I spent a fantastic long-weekend over Memorial Day with my brother's family in Myrtle Beach, and I had a housefull of company for Labor Day.

My other hobbies and extracurricular activities, which were once so important to give my life meaning have fallen off somewhat. I still take great pride in my German Hunting Horn performance group, and we have been performing all over the Cincinnati area and even to Milwaukee this summer and fall.

So...

That should about catch everything up to date. This is October 2nd. This weekend is the Donauschwaben Oktoberfest, which is the final Oktoberfest of the season. The last of 6 back-to-back festival weekends, and the last Horn performance for at least a month. Next week, Jon and I will be travelling with his friends to Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH for a much needed weekend getaway.

While the expense of the house will likely keep us from any more big vacations for at least a year or two, we have each other. That's all we need.

Oh, and I have this blog. Welcome back blog!